Return to Me
by beautyofsorrow
Summary: She's left on a crumbling starship, surrounded by the pieces of her shattered heart. He's made a promise he's not sure he can keep. Will they ever see each other again?
1. B'Elanna

**Disclaimer:**I do not own or pretend to own any of these characters, places, or events; they are purely Paramount's. But I certainly do love them.

**Author's Note:** Set during season 4's "Year of Hell, 1 & 2."

* * *

Return to Me  
by Dax's10thHost

**_Day 125, B'Elanna_**

She stood at the viewport, arms wrapped tightly about her. The stars glittered back at her, still and silent against the velvet backdrop of space. She stared at them, letting a million pinpricks of light sting her eyes. The silence wound about her, heavy, aching, despairing. Her vision flickered and blurred with tears.

"Tom…"

His name escaped her lips in a whisper, rippled across the silence like wind sweeping against the skin. Her heart throbbed within her so strongly that it stole her breath away. Her eyes blinked shut; a single tear dropped to her cheek. She made no move to brush it away, to conceal her grief.

"Tom…where are you?"

She pictured his features, drawing upon her love and memory to bring his visage before her. That lock of sandy hair curling against his forehead…that sparkle dancing in his laughing blue eyes…the perpetual smile tugging at his lips…

It all came back to her, clearer than the stars illuminating her face, realer than the acrid stench of scorched carpet and fried circuits permeating the air around her. She opened her eyes, savoring the memories.

The way his eyes warmed as he caught sight of her, his lips curving into the tiniest, most intimate of smiles. The warmth of his arms about her waist as he hugged her, the feel of his lips against hers. The stricken expression upon his face as she staggered into the mess hall, beating back tears from the pain of her injury. The tenderness in his hands as he'd caught her, lifted her onto the stretcher. The quiet strength of his hand wrapped around hers, the gentleness with which he'd tended her. The pure, unshakeable love spilling from his eyes as he'd pressed her fingers to his lips and promised his return.

Sorrow struck her, a powerful breaker that slapped into her and sent tears trickling down her cheeks. That had been the last time she'd had the chance to be with him, to savor the bond between them, without having to worry about _Voyager_ falling apart beneath their feet. That had been the only chance she'd had to say goodbye, to look deep into his heart and pledge her love for him. And that had been nearly three months ago.

She struggled against the pain, but could barely breathe. More tears bathed her cheeks, and a sob escaped her throat.

_Why have you left me alone?_

And she was alone. More alone than she'd been in years, long before she came to live on _Voyager_.

A new face filled her mind, and her sorrow doubled. "Chakotay," she whispered, her fingers reaching to touch the cold glass of the viewport.

Not only had they taken Tom—they'd taken Chakotay. In an instant, she'd had her closest companions ripped from her, torn from her like a limb from a tree. Tom, her love, and Chakotay, her friend. No, he was more than that. He was her brother, her mentor, the father-figure in her fatherless life. He was so much to her. And now…he was gone.

"Chakotay, where are you?" she asked the stars, her eyes searching their gleaming faces. "Where have they taken you?" Maybe…maybe if she looked long enough, searched hard enough, she'd find the answer.

"They've taken you when I need you most…when everything is torn and falling apart beneath my feet. I can't fix it. I just can't. And I need you so much…_we_ need you.

"The Captain needs you, Chakotay. She's so exhausted and desperate that she'll do anything to get us out of this mess. She needs your quiet wisdom, your gentle hand to stay her, to keep her from—rushing into something foolish. She needs to look at your chair and see you, see your steady black eyes gazing back at her, telling her that everything…everything's going to be all right. She needs you, Chakotay. She needs you."

_I need you._

"And Tom…where are you? Where is your smile, your easy laugh, your comforting hand? Where are _you_? I need you. I _miss_ you. It's…not the same without you. I never realized how much life you brought to _Voyager_ until you left. Until you were taken. And now…" she paused, struggling against her tears. "Now we all feel ready to die, like we've no reason to live. We need you, need your energy and spirit and smile. Please…_please_ come back."

She fell silent, gazing out at the stars once more. Somewhere, she had to believe, Tom and Chakotay were out there, alive and trying to find a way back. A way to _Voyager_, to their Delta Quadrant family. A way home.

She stood there, hugging herself, and watched the stars. _Somewhere_, she told herself. _They're out there somewhere._

A single tear slid down her cheek.

_Return to me._


	2. Tom

**Author's Note: **I originally meant this fanfic to be a one-shot focusing on B'Elanna's struggle with losing Tom and Chakotay in a single instant. But, after talking to **Alpha Flyer**, I realized that this fic has way too much potential to pass up. Thus, the 2nd chapter. Keep on the lookout for a 3rd-I'm planning on finishing it in the next chapter. Thanks, **Alpha Flyer**, for the inspiration & encouragement! I'm having fun with this fic.

* * *

**_Day 226, Tom_**

One hundred fifty-six. _One hundred fifty-six._ That's how many days it'd been since he'd last seen B'Elanna.

Tom thumped his fist against the bulkhead, shoving himself away from where he'd been leaning against its smooth surface.

And not just B'Elanna. All of them. Harry, Neelix, Janeway, Seven, the Doctor—even Tuvok. One hundred fifty-six days.

He stared at the smooth gray surface of the bulkhead, contemplating its unblemished appearance. The familiar bitter anger welled inside his chest, making it hard to see straight.

Why was it that these—these _monsters_—were free to roam the quadrant, erasing entire civilizations from existence, just so their race could rise to power once more? What gave them the right to destroy billions upon billions of lives without so much as batting an eyelash?

He hurled his forearm against the wall once more, taking comfort in the sharp pain of bone colliding with seamless metal. For a brief moment, he smiled, and the shortest of laughs escaped his throat. If only B'Elanna could see him now. She would accuse him of getting in touch with his "inner Klingon."

The old ache pierced his heart, and he sobered abruptly. How many times had he teased her about her Klingon genes? How many times had she shot him that half-glare, half-smile of hers that fascinated him so? How long had it been since he'd looked deep into the soft brown of her eyes, right down to her heart, and told her that he loved her?

He didn't even know anymore.

He missed her. Oh, how he missed her!

"_I've stopped the internal bleeding. You're going to be okay." He said the words more for his benefit than hers._

"_Is that your—expert medical opinion?" she panted, bravely trying to smile through her tears. The effort proved too much, and she gasped, her face convulsing with pain._

"_I know it still hurts…" Her cry sent a bolt of lightning through his heart, and he anxiously ran the tricorder over her prone body. "Severed spinal cord. I'll see what I can do."_

"_Mr. Paris, I need your assistance."_

"_I'll be there in a minute," he replied, shoving away the anger the Doctor's impatience stirred in him._

"_Now, Mr. Paris! In case you haven't noticed, B'Elanna is not the only one in need of medical assistance. Triage is…" The EMH continued his discourse, but Tom quit listening. _

_Closing the tricorder, he slipped his fingers around B'Elanna's hand, leaning close to her. She looked up at him, eyes shining with unshed tears. _

_She was so willful, so stubborn. And yet so strong and beautiful. Even now, lying on a make-shift stretcher with soot streaking her face and dirt coating her uniform, she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever laid eyes on. His heart throbbed within him, and he swallowed. Hard._

"_I'll be right back," he promised, pressing his lips to her hand. _

And then he'd left.

That had been the last opportunity he'd had to talk to her, the last time he'd looked into her eyes and told her "I love you" without ever opening his mouth.

And that had been…one hundred seventy-nine days ago.

Tom blinked. "Computer, locate Commander Chakotay."

"Commander Chakotay is on the Bridge."

If it hadn't been for the harsh, metallic voice and unfamiliar surroundings, Tom could've believed he was back on _Voyager_. But he wasn't, and that was all that mattered. Turning quickly, Tom exited the room, heading for the Bridge.

It was time to make good on his promise to B'Elanna.


	3. The Return

_**Day 257, B'Elanna**_

B'Elanna was about to go crazy.

For a month, now, she and Harry been on the Nihydron ship, following _Voyager _(with Janeway) and the Mawasi ship (with Tuvok, Seven, Neelix, and the Doctor) on their journey toward the Krenim vessel, where Annorax was keeping Tom and Chakotay.

A month.

The Klingon in her nearly howled with impatience. But the human inside her nearly burst into tears. "_I've received an authenticated message from Tom. He's given us the coordinates for the Krenim vessel, as well as the location of its temporal core."_ She'd stopped breathing upon hearing the Captain's words.

Tom was alive.

In that moment, everything in B'Elanna's crazy, torn-apart world had righted itself. She'd no longer been standing in the shambles of a starship, dirt caking her from head to foot, and lungs burning from leaking plasma fumes. She hadn't been exhausted and spirit-broken, or even the least bit tired. At those words, B'Elanna's ragged, bleeding heart had leapt in her chest, effectively healing itself.

For an instant.

Now, she was beginning to lose hope.

A month.

Would she ever see Tom alive again?

* * *

_**Tom**_

Tom sat at the table in his guest quarters aboard the Krenim ship, his fingers tapping out a rhythm that would have put the William Tell Overture to shame. His eyes fixated on the portable computer padd before him, his heart racing.

"Come on, come on," he murmured, nearly screaming with impatience. What was taking Obrist so long?

Habit turned his eyes to the wall, where he'd fashioned a makeshift calendar. He didn't need it; he'd made it simply to occupy his mind. Tom's eyes wandered over the tick marks showing how many days it had been since he'd last seen B'Elanna. He didn't even have to count them. The number was etched onto his heart, burning a hole through his mind every second that he sat there, helpless to do anything.

Suddenly, the padd started bleeping crazily, lighting up like a fireworks show. His heart vaulted into his throat, and he had to force the breath from his lungs.

Hunching over the padd, Tom deftly worked the controls until the information he needed was before him.

"Good work, Obrist!" he exclaimed in a whisper. Keying the controls as fast as he could, Tom concentrated on the task at hand. Purpose surged through him like adrenaline.

He had something to do now. Something that would help get him and Chakotay home. Back to _Voyager_, back to B'Elanna. Determination swept through him. He hadn't seen B'Elanna in a hundred eighty-seven days.

He wasn't about to make it one hundred eighty-eight.

* * *

_**B'Elanna**_

From her seat at the engineering console on the Nihydron warship's bridge, B'Elanna monitored their temporal shielding. So far, everything was going according to plan. Shields were operational, communications were open and active, and the Krenim vessel was within visual range.

Well, almost everything, she corrected.

Tom hadn't been able to take the Krenim vessel's temporal core offline.

And, given that everything they'd planned hinged on the core's being disabled, B'Elanna was willing to bet that they were in trouble. Big trouble.

Briefly, she bowed her head, thinking of Tom and Chakotay aboard that monster of a ship. What would happen to them when Annorax realized their deception? And what about their accomplice, Obrist? How would he fare when his part in all this came to light? Would he live? Would Tom and Chakotay live? Better yet, would _anyone_ survive this nightmare?

The Year of Hell.

Nothing had ever been more aptly named.

B'Elanna felt a hand on her shoulder, and she turned to see Harry standing beside her. For a moment, he said nothing. He just stood there, holding her gaze. Then, he tightened his grip on her shoulder and said, "We're gonna get them back. I know we are."

His words sent a wave of pain through her so strong that she shut her eyes. She sensed Harry crouching before her, and felt his hands settle just above her elbows.

"B'Elanna…look at me."

Slowly, she opened her eyes. Tears made her vision jerky and blurred, but she could still see Harry's face, the certainty etched onto his youthful features.

"We're gonna get them back," he repeated slowly, his gaze never wavering. "You have to believe that."

B'Elanna opened her mouth. She tried to find the right words, the words to express her pain and fear, but she couldn't. All she could think of was Tom's promise to her in the mess hall all those months ago.

_"I'll be right back."_

A tear dropped onto her cheek. "He told me…" A sob escaped her throat, and B'Elanna swallowed and ducked her head. When she could speak again, she met Harry's gaze. "He promised he'd come back," she choked out. "And now…I can't—"

"B'Elanna," Harry interrupted, giving her a little shake, "stop it. He's on that ship—" here he pointed to the viewscreen showing the Krenim vessel, "—and he's coming back. You have to believe that."

"I don't know if I can," she whispered, terror filling every corner of her body.

Harry's eyes softened, and he leaned forward to hug her. For a long minute, he was silent, letting his embrace speak all that his voice couldn't. Finally, he drew back, catching her eyes once more.

"Then I'll believe for you."

* * *

_**Tom**_

He looked around him, bewildered. One minute he'd been scrambling to disable the temporal core, and the next he was—where _was_ he?

"Tom! Thank goodness you're here!"

He whirled just in time to receive a Talaxian bear hug.

"Neelix? Is that you? Where am I?"

"Aboard the Mawasi vessel," the friendly cook replied, more than a little puzzled. "Didn't you beam yourself here?"

"No, he didn't. Obrist did, just after he took the temporal core offline."

Chakotay's calm voice broke into their conversation, answering at least one of Tom's questions.

He realized that Neelix wasn't the only member of _Voyager_'s crew on board. The Doctor, Tuvok, and Seven of Nine stood in various positions on what appeared to be the alien vessel's bridge. "Shouldn't you all be on _Voyager_?" he asked. "And where's B'Elanna? And the Captain and Harry?"

"Lieutenant Torres and Ensign Kim are on the remaining Nihydron vessel. Captain Janeway stayed aboard _Voyager_ in order to pilot it." Seven's precisely modulated voice cut through the sudden silence that had befallen the Mawasi bridge crew.

"By herself?" Chakotay asked, incredulous. "Why?"

_::Janeway to the Fleet.:: _

Their captain's voice cut through the haze of questions, snapping everyone to attention as if Janeway herself had just walked onto the bridge.

_::Take your temporal shields offline. I repeat, take your temporal shield offline.::_

Confused questions followed the ludicrous order, staid only by Tuvok's calm Vulcan obedience. Listening to his captain over the comm line, Tom pieced together that Janeway was going to ram _Voyager_ into the Krenim vessel's temporal core in the hopes of destroying it and restoring history.

The ultimate kamikaze.

His captain was making a suicide run. Tom's blood went cold. In the chaos that followed, two thoughts registered in his brain.

One, he was going to die.

Two, he'd broken his promise to B'Elanna.

* * *

_**Day 1, B'Elanna**_

_Tom!_

The alarm bells in her head sounded so loudly and abruptly that B'Elanna almost dropped the weekly Engineering report she was writing. As it was, she was certain she'd jumped, maybe even gasped, and hoped to goodness Seven of Nine wasn't around to witness her odd behavior.

Unable to shake her unease, B'Elanna lowered the padd and slapped her commbadge with a shaking hand. "Torres to Paris."

_::Paris here::_ came his reply.

She paused. _He sounds all right_, she thought. _But then again, that doesn't mean anything with Tom._ "Are you all right?" she finally asked, hardly daring to breathe.

_::Yeah…::_ he answered slowly, his confusion obvious even over the comm line. _::Why?::_

"I…just wanted to make sure." B'Elanna winced. She sounded like a total idiot.

_::B'Elanna, are you feeling all right? Maybe you should—::_

"I'm fine," she interrupted, raising the padd once more. "I've got to go—Engineering report's due." She severed the line before he could order her to sickbay. That was the _last_ thing she needed.

"_petaQ_!" she muttered to herself, returning to her work. "Next time, _think_ before you make a complete fool of yourself."

Still, for a moment there, she'd actually feared for his life. It had been the strangest feeling—like she'd been somewhere else, on another ship. Watching as her friends met their deaths. Waiting for her own. And what was that phrase that had flashed through her mind? _The Year of Hell._

Year of Hell? B'Elanna shook her head and walked into her office. "Get a grip, Torres. Save the worry for when you really need it."

Despite her acute embarrassment, B'Elanna couldn't help the relief that flooded her heart.

_Finis_


End file.
